The Polyjuice Masquerade
by Winter Butterfly
Summary: Hermione Granger is positively sick of being in the dark. Using her ever faithful library, she devises a plan to help Ron Weasley reveal his feelings for her, but something unexpected occurs...or someone. An R/Hr romance with H/G and a silly plot.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter world. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I only own the plot and the book.  
  
AN: Please Read! Well, here we are again, another silly story...possibly MORE silly than IPoMG. I apologize for this being so short, but I wanted to give you a taste of the story to come. Chapter one shall be along shortly. Please note, this story isn't to be taken seriously - it's for laughs, a kind of parody, with a tiny bit of drama mixed in. Thanks to Jamie for beta reading this for me. :o) I hope you enjoy this, all. More to come...and let me tell you, some of it may be a shock.  
  
And I am SUCH a tease. :oD  
  
~*The Polyjuice Masquerade*~  
  
Prologue  
  
~*&*~  
  
On the evening of Sunday, October the nineteenth, at approximately 15 minutes and six seconds after nine o'clock in the PM, while lying in her bed in the Gryffindor tower, wearing fuzzy pink pajamas with these little bitty clouds and blue bunnies that her mother had bought for her for her birthday the past year when she had turned sixteen, even though she begged her Mother to buy her the slinky red silk night gown as she was immensely embarrassed by the child like quality of the pajamas, but nevertheless, not the point of this rambling, with her lips puckered brilliantly, Hermione Elizabeth Granger received her glorious first kiss.  
  
Well, no, I guess that would be a lie.  
  
Seeing as how the man who was supposedly doing the kissing, one Ronald Arthur Weasley, was fast asleep in his own bed at that very moment with his mouth open wide, there was actually no possible way he could have been kissing Hermione at that specific time, or any time that evening.  
  
No, she realized as she sat up in her bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she had not been kissing Ron at all. It had only been a wonderful dream. She pounded her fists into the covers, her hair billowing madly about her face. It had only been a wonderful dream! Oh, it just wasn't fair! She didn't want to have wonderful dreams! She wanted the real thing!  
  
She looked around her room, the books laying cluttered, the notes scattered on her desk. None of it really mattered. She climbed from her bed, carefully placing her feet on the cold floor and making her way to the window. As she gazed out at the Hogwart's grounds, her breath fogging the window, she rubbed her arms for warmth. It was unusually cold for October, she noted. Almost as cold as her friendship with Ron. As much as she flirted shamelessly, hinting about her feelings to him nearly every day, he never took the bait. When she would rub up against him in hopes of getting a reaction, Ron's eyes would widen slightly, but he would not acknowledge her game. It left her feeling empty, and hopeless. She sighed as the thought that he didn't feel the same fluttered through her mind.  
  
She needed reassurance.  
  
She needed answers.  
  
She needed a plan.  
  
She scrambled back to her bed, her hands searching for parchment and a quill on her bedside table. She grabbed her copy of "Teenage Witch: 1001 Things You Should Know," ripping the back page out mercilessly. She tossed the book onto her bed, her mind reeling as she scribbled on the parchment. "In...library...bathroom...cauldren...Harry...question...like me...yes!" She punched the air, squealing happily. She was so brilliant.  
  
As she climbed back under her covers, a smile gracing her lips, Hermione was positive that in just a short time, Mr. Ronald Weasley would be seeing her in a totally different light.  
  
~*&*~  
  
Ahh, so very short...but I promise, chapter one will be longer. Until then! 


	2. Reassurance

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter world. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I only own the plot and the book. "Genie in a Bottle" belongs to Christina Aguilera.  
  
AN: Imagine how surprised I was when I went to my e-mail account yesterday and found that I had eleven reviews! For that short little prologue! I hadn't expected ANY reviews, so thank you very much! :o) Now, many of you may have guessed some of this plot, but believe me, you haven't guessed it all. This chapter is much longer, and there is much more information. And, if you don't recognize it, the song Ginny sings is a parody of Christina Aguilera's "Genie in a bottle." I like parodies. LOL I hope you like!  
  
~*The Polyjuice Masquerade*~  
  
Chapter One: Reassurance  
  
~*&*~  
  
"Please Madam Pince, I need that book badly!"  
  
Hermione stood in the library the next morning, her hands clasped before her demurely. She turned hopeful eyes upon the surly librarian, but there was no budging Madam Pince. She simply shook her head and scowled at Hermione, exclaiming, "Absolutely not, young lady! Who knows what damage you could do with that book! I know how smart you are, Miss Granger, but really, there is a limit. Now please, do not ask again." With that, the Librarian turned on her heal, raising her wand to organize a stack of returned books. Hermione mouthed a few curse words behind her back before turning away and walking toward the entrance.  
  
"Hello Granger, looking spiffy, I must say! Seen that lovely Potter around this morning? I've got a thirst that needs to be quenched and he's a tall drink of Butterbeer, oh my!"  
  
Hermione groaned at the sound of that voice, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. She smiled graciously, grinding her teeth together. "Hello Draco. How are you today?"  
  
His hand flew to his throat as he asked, "My, Hermione, is there anything wrong? You seem like someone ate all your favourite cookies and left the milk to spoil!"  
  
She raised one eyebrow, trying not to analyze the way his mind worked. It would probably make her sick. She leaned against the doorway, her arms crossing over her chest. "I need a book that's in the restricted section, but Madam Pince won't let me have it. It's for...homework, and it's very important, but it doesn't look like I'll be getting it anytime soon." She sighed heavily before closing her eyes. The plan had seemed so perfect!  
  
She heard Draco scoff and the sound of him walking away. She opened her eyes to watch him swagger toward Madam Pince, his bottom swaying gaily in his Plaaddaa robes. He exchanged a few pleasantries with her, and Hermione was shocked to see the old battle-ax blush to her roots. She winked at Draco before marching off toward the restricted section in haste. When she returned, she was holding an old, dusty book. It looked much like the one that Hermione needed for her plan! Madam Pince handed Draco the volume, waggling a finger at him sternly before batting her eyelashes like a schoolgirl. Apparently she didn't realize that Draco was fruitier than a bowl of Trix.  
  
Draco walked back to Hermione, triumph written on his features. "Here you go, Granger dear. I just told old Pincy that I needed the book you asked for because we are working on a project together. Voila! The book!" Draco did a series of snaps before rolling his head in an attitude move. "I am SO good."  
  
Hermione accepted the book from him, her gaze suspicious. "Why did you do that for me, Draco?"  
  
He tisked, rolling his eyes. She noticed he had blue eyeliner on today. "So silly, Hermmy. I get the book for you, you put a good word in for me with the Gryffindor boys! Duh!" He threw his hands up, his look exasperated.  
  
"Well, thank you Draco. I appreciate it."  
  
He smirked. "No problem, Herm. Just put me on Potter's list, and we'll call it even! Have to be off now...I have a meeting with Professor Snape." He let out a low growl. "That man is a tiger!" Draco scampered off, leaving Hermione to search the tome in peace.  
  
After making sure no one was watching her, she made her way to the very back of the library. She threw the book onto a table, her nimble fingers opening the front cover. "It has got to be here somewhere..." Hermione turned the pages of Moste Potente Potions quickly, her eyes scanning the words for the information she needed. She rolled her eyes at the disgusting pictures and tried her best not to gag when they were particularly detailed. "Oh for goodness sakes...The Gorgoria Potion...turns you into half bird, half frog. No, no...The Putney Putrice Potion...grows an extra leg from your behind...who needs these potions? The Pee Wee Herman Potion...oh, that's just nasty!"  
  
She flipped another page in frustration, nearly tearing it from the book. Hermione sighed and placed her chin in her hand. Even if she did find the potion, how was she ever supposed to get the supplies she needed from Snape's personal stash? She turned another page to find herself looking at The Elvis Pelvis Potion, which made your legs shake and turn in a most provocative way. She rolled her eyes, her hand moving to close the book. She would never be able to pull this off. What was the use?  
  
"Hello Hermione!"  
  
Hermione gasped and slammed the book shut quickly, placing it in her lap and throwing Teenage Witch: 1001 Things You Should Know onto the table. She opened it to the section on love potions and cursed. Ron! What in the hell was he doing in the library? She looked up and smiled at him innocently. "Hello Ron! Uh...just doing a little reading up on love potions for class, that's all."  
  
Ron threw himself into the chair across from her, breathing heavily. He was sweaty and wearing his Quidditch robes, but still managed to look unbelievable. He grinned cheekily. "Love potions, eh? Planning on using one of those on some unknowing wizard?" He winked before continuing, "I was just wondering if you would help me with our transfiguration homework tonight? I can't fathom turning Pig into a cauldron, so I was hoping you could tutor me a bit." Hermione looked down at her upturned palm. Ron was tracing circles on it with his index finger, making shivers creep down her spine. He obviously wasn't aware he was doing it. Her eyes met his, and for a moment, she was sure she saw something in those dark blue depths. He quickly looked away. "What do you say?"  
  
She blinked rapidly as she tried to force the words out of her suddenly dry mouth. "Sure Ron. I'll meet you in the common room later tonight."  
  
He grinned at her, then stood, saying, "Good. Well, I have to go take a shower. I rushed from Quidditch practice to ask you. Harry is no doubt wondering where I am, and probably angry as well. We saw Draco lurking around the showers and Harry didn't want to go in alone, but I needed to talk to you, so I just told Harry not to drop the soap." Ron shrugged before winking at her once more and taking his leave.  
  
As soon as Ron disappeared from sight, Hermione threw Moste Potente Potions on top of the table, searching with a renewed vigor. She simply HAD to know how that boy felt about her!  
  
~*&*~  
  
"If you want to set me free, you can do it in a snap! I'm a house elf in a dust rag. Gotta fall into the Gap! If you want to set me free, there is just one thing to do! Just come give me clothing! It can even be a shoe! I'm a house elf in a dust rag, baby! Gotta get me some new threads today. I'm a house elf in a dust rag baby! Come, come, come on and set me free!" Ginny Weasley sang to herself as she walked down the halls of Hogwarts. She had just heard the new Hyena Inmyhaira song on the Wizard Wireless, and she couldn't get it out of her head. She spun around once, dancing to herself as she walked into the library, earning a nasty look from Madam Pince. Ginny winced but continued to hum softly as she made her way toward the back. She was looking for a book on famous witches of the sixteenth century. She was supposed to write a long essay for History of Magic on the topic, but could barely keep her mind on anything as it was.  
  
All she could think of was Harry.  
  
"Oof!" Ginny felt someone slam into her and nearly fell to the floor.  
  
"Oh, Ginny! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there. I was in a bit of a hurry, and I just found some very interesting information, and it was so clumsy of me to --"  
  
"Hermione, it's fine. No need to go into an hour speech." Ginny grinned as she looked at her dear friend. Something seemed different today. "What information?"  
  
She watched in fascination as Hermione turned three different shades of red before sputtering, "Oh, you know...just information. Uh...actually, you would probably be bored to hear it! Well, better be off. I've got three essays due tomorrow and I have to tweak them. Guess I'll see you later Ginny!" Hermione nodded before running from the library. Ginny shook her head. That girl was always in a hurry to do something.  
  
Ginny walked through the shelves, glancing at the books. She frowned, reading the titles as she ran her fingers over the spines, "Lifestyles of the Wizard World Tailors...Merlin's Wizard How-TOS...Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pests...Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban...A Lechner Journal of Infus -- WHAT?" Her eyes quickly ran over the titles, searching for the book that had caught her eye. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? Surly she had misread. She grabbed the book from the shelf, the title staring her in the face. She laughed. Larry Water and the Prince Otter of Jazzya Land. She had definitely turned the title to her liking. What had she been thinking? Who in the world would write a book about Harry? She giggled as she replaced the book, another title catching her eye. Famous Witches and Wizards of the Sixteenth Century. Perfect!  
  
Ginny sat down in a chair, removing a piece of parchment and a quill from her bag. She opened the book briefly, her eyes swiftly moving over the words. After five minutes of fruitless effort, she slammed the book shut. She just couldn't concentrate! Harry Potter was taking over her mind, and there was nothing she could do about it. Ginny stifled a laugh. She was being overly dramatic, something she was prone to do in times of frustration. While Harry wasn't exactly taking over her mind, he certainly was the basis of her thoughts day in and day out. He was the most confusing boy in all of Hogwart's history! One moment, he would be cold as ice, and then he would ruin that image by smiling at her in his sweet way, or offering her the last treacle tart at dinner. Often she would find him staring at her, his green eyes flashing with some unknown emotion. He would turn away quickly, averting her gaze. It was unbearable.  
  
All she wanted was to know how he felt. Was that too much to ask? She certainly didn't think so. Tossing the book aside with a groan, Ginny looked around for something to distract her thoughts. Her eyes fell upon an open book sitting on the other side of the table. It had ghastly pictures, but the closer she looked, the more interested she became. Grabbing the large tome, she read the words at the top of the page, "The Polyjuice Potion..." She quickly read over the ingredients and directions. Why, this was the answer to her problems! She scribbled down the directions and folded the paper, placing it in her pocket. Whoever had left that book there must have known of her plight. How very intriguing! She put the book back where she found it and stood, placing her school supplies in her bag. She needed to get started on it right away, as the potion took a whole month to brew. She picked up her book for History of Magic, practically skipping toward Madam Pince to check it out. How lucky she was to have thought of such a genius idea.  
  
"Ow!" Ginny once again collided into someone, knocking the girl to the floor. "Hermione! What in bloody hell do you think you're doing?"  
  
Hermione scratched her head as she stood, looking sheepish. "I forgot to...um...get a book on...you know...h-house cleaning spells? I really need to clean up my room. It gets worse everyday."  
  
Ginny frowned, "One would think that being Head Girl would make you neater, especially with your own room."  
  
Hermione chuckled nervously, avoiding Ginny's probing gaze, "Yes, one would probably think that, but I just have no time. It's unbelievable. Well, no time to talk, I'm afraid. Have to be off now. Bye!" Hermione raced toward the back of the library, leaving Ginny dumbfounded. Hermione seemed more harebrained than usual. Perhaps she needed a vacation! Pondering that, Ginny headed toward Madam Pince's desk, her hand holding tightly to the tiny piece of parchment in her pocket. Her only hope.  
  
~*&*~  
  
AN: Yay! I can't wait for you guys to read the rest. *so excited* 


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